Have you ever stood in front of the mirror and thought to yourself… I wish I could change this, ah I wish I could change that? Oh we’ve all been there! We have all had moments where we’ve zoned in on our faces and bodies and wished it looked different… sometimes our skin’s not looking flawless, our eyebrows aren’t the right shape, our eyelashes aren’t thick and fluttery, or our hair is just not looking silky enough and we can’t but wish it was different… but why do we do that? WHY on earth do we stand there and pick on ourselves?
Recently, I have been getting quite a few curious cat responses with people confessing or asking me about what to do with certain features they’re not happy with and though I’ll happily answer with whatever knowledge I may have on the matter … it does make me sad.
It’s saddening. It’s like we have this idea of “perfect” instilled in our minds, this picture of perfection drawn for us by none other than good old media! It literally throws pictures at us of Kim K and her ‘perfectly’ shaped body, or Cheryl Cole and her gorgeous face structure, or Gigi Hadid and her flawless skin… it’s no wonder so many girls look at them and then themselves, questioning the very unique things that make them the beautiful individuals they are.
It is so easy to get caught up examining and wishing for what we are shown in the media, the idea of ‘beauty’ ‘perfection’, but it is literally just that.. what the media shows; pictures and videos.. we never see these women in the flesh, and though I’m sure they must be as beautiful in person, we just don’t know how much effort, work goes in to that one look…so to stand beautifully bare faced in front of a mirror and pick out your imperfections and feel saddened by them is unfair to you.
There’s this quote:
“You are so used to your features, you don’t know how beautiful you look to a stranger”
So true. We tend to over think how obvious or bad something looks on our face or body.. thinking that the whole world will notice it, but really it’s nothing and just something we’ve picked out after hours and hours of examining and over analysing.
Here’s my personal experience… ever since high school I would get comments about my weight. I was and am a 5 ft 2 petite girl.. and all my life the comments I get about how tall or big I was – well it was enough get me down. I hated it. I tried my best to eat healthy and a lot but my weight wouldn’t change much and I got so frustrated to the point I went to the doctor. At my visit the doctor actually told me I was healthy but I had to make sure I maintained. I then realised that hey, why do I even care what people think? I am healthy and when I’m not listening to peoples’ comments I feel healthy and happy with myself, and from that point onwards, I told myself to do me and ignore what people say.
There is one other thing I would like to point out. Many think that if a girl is ‘small’ or ‘skinny’ or even ‘thin’, she has nothing to complain about. For some, I know being underweight is a genuine problem and something they work ever so hard to change – so for one to mock another on their struggle of trying to gain weight and feel healthy, is wrong.
Furthermore, for some reason, our society deems it okay to call people ‘skinny’, but when a person is called ‘fat’ it’s horrible and mean. I’d just like to say that these two terms are both on the same level and can be equally as offensive. You would never drop in a conversation “you’re so fat, why do you eat so much?” – No right? Well then, what makes it okay to question the other end of the scale and say “you’re so skinny, why don’t you eat?” Both are as bad as each other and have the same effect on a person. It’s comments like these about weight, height etc that brings people down. It’s uncalled for and if you feel someone you know is going down an unhealthy path, approach them in such a way that you don’t crush their confidence, but instead give them a footstool to stand and build it from.
I was on Instagram the other day and I came across this girl with Pfeiffer Syndrome which meant her face had developed differently, but this girl… I am telling you this girl was posting selfies, she was dropping that sass, she was confident and damn right she should be!!! That girl is an inspiration! Though she doesn’t fit the ‘ideal perfect everyone wants to be her media followed woman’, she loves herself, she is proud of who she is and accepts it with a whole heart!
And that’s how it should be.
And it’s not just girls, guys too. I think some forget that they also have that pressure from media but they just don’t voice it as much. Guys also feel conscious but just because we don’t really hear many of them openly admit it doesn’t mean those thoughts don’t exist.
Come on, no one is perfect, not everyone’s face is symmetrical, not everyone’s face is completely smooth or clear, not everyone’s nose is the idea cute size. The point here is: love yourself. Love your imperfections, be proud of the colour of your skin, the random birth mark, the shape of your nose, the curls or waves in your hair… honestly, you are beautiful and if you accept that, you will radiate positivity and feel so much happier about life.
There’s an amazing music video I want you to watch – it perfectly sums everything up: John Legend – You and I – this video actually gives me the shiver and the message behind it is beautiful > Whatever age, whatever colour, whatever race, whatever weight, whatever body shape, whatever nose shape or what ever height, WHATEVER you are… you are beautiful. And don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. Love yourself and I promise you, you will feel your heart burst with happiness and it is that happiness that will radiate 🙂