Musings

Changes

Ok, so this is a very random blog post, actually all posts are random but I was going through old emails from like 4 years ago? High school time? Then pictures from college…. and it got me thinking.


Firstly I am ashamed at how disgusting my spelling, grammar and slang was… lol my spelling or grammar isn’t any better now but I’m cringing at how cool I thought I was. please why!?

But my bad grammar is not the topic of this blog post, no. Actually I was thinking about how much things change, how much life changes, how much our surroundings change, how much we change as a person… it’s crazy but it’s amazing at the same time, how those experiences, those mistakes, those victories, those fall downs… they all have moulded us… well me… into the person I am today. 

I look back and I think… man I wish I had or hadn’t done that, or I wish I had or hadn’t said that… but then… I realise if I hadn’t/had done those things, I wouldn’t be the person I am today.. An animal loving, book freak, obsessed with TV shows weirdo. (I could have been more creative with that but I am lacking so much energy right now that’s the best I could come up with lol) 

But yeah, the people I have met so far in my life, the mistakes I have made, the losses & the gains… the things I’ve seen …they have all built my views, my opinions… my personality… SO FAR. 

I say so far because I am only 20 and Inshallah I have a whole lot to experience… I hope. 

Beginning of high school I was such an… annoying human, I think back and I realise wow, I would have slapped myself if it was possible. When high school started, I took things way too seriously, like I would take things to heart, cry over the crappiest things, not try to get to know new people, I really think I was a stuck up human LOL but as high school went on I met new people, and those people changed me for the better, I experienced things, I got things wrong  (which was most of the time) and then I got things right… and slowly I became that crazy, way too happy, yay I don’t mind saying hi to that random human over there person.

I went to college with that attitude but so much happened at college which, again, made me rethink what I want in life and who I am! Coming to college, I was the type of person that relied so much on her friends and the people around her, of course I valued my friends but this was different… I let the opinions of others dictate what I did & what I thought. I didn’t think for myself and just allowed myself to be guided by the people around me. 


But sunshine didn’t that change. Slowly, I drifted away from so many friends, but I gained an amazing few and once I was out of college, I had changed a little… again! I had a few friends (fabulous friends may I add and I was happy about that) and I was strong within my self. The opinions of others did not phase me, (unless it was my family of course) but I was confident enough to do what I wanted without needing the approval of my peers, I didn’t worry about what they’d think and just did what I wanted and what I felt was right. That was a big thing for me, to not rely so much on friends or my peers and be ok with being by myself, doing things by myself.  

I truly do believe that a person can change, I’ve changed. 

Just because someone has done something wrong does not mean there is no way they can come back from that…And just because someone is always a perfecto goody goody two shoes does not mean they aren’t gonna mess up… We are no one to judge, not at all… everyone has their individual battles, their own fears, their own goals… we can’t sit there comparing our lives… we all have our own little story, which moulds us and changes us into the person we will be at the end of it all… 

Emotional and that…

BUT it’s true… we have plans, plans that we are so adamant will work out… go this place, do that, meet this person, meet that person, get this, get that… but somehow, something intervenes and changes our whole idea of perfection… nothing is for definite, you think you know where you are going and BAAM something totally changes your direction or destroys everything you’re familiar with…Meaning you have to start all over again, re-make those plans. At the time we think it’s a bad thing, but when you look back you realise, if that hadn’t happen then I wouldn’t be here, I wouldn’t have what I have now! 

The bottom line is that we all change, whether we realise it or not, we have changed, and we will keep changing. Sometimes it’s a good change or it may not be a good one, but regardless it builds us up to be more of the person we are meant to be. 

 

Sorry if this post was too long, I literally just typed whatever out.. and there’s probably so many mistakes Yay lol


Smile sunshines

xo

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